claire

i've been waiting for this for over two years.

finally more movies.

and one actually is filming!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1024715/

this one is still and rumor, in fact the guys that run chuckpalahniuk.net think it might have just gotten put up because of choke. but hey i can still hope!

Zaphod as Victor, hmm sounds interesting to me.

i got new fish!!

two fancy guppies named yoshi and parakoopa(perry for short), a ghost shrimp named boo, and two crabs named crabby and patty.

YAY

yay it rained, its been ridiculously hot inside because it was 70 outside and the heat was on. now its 41 outside. so my room is back to being perfect again. or atleast this spot right under the window is.

hopefully today i'm going to go look at fish over at the touch of nature. it all depends on benjamin, since its raining and stuff i won't make him drive if he doesn't want to.

tonight after our meeting i have to do my prefessional portfolio for my teaching class, i don't really know what she wants or how she wants it but i'll give it a try.

my life amazes me. as i look to the next week which will be very hectic and busy and annoying i wonder why i got myself into this. then the first week goes by, everything slows down, and i realize everything is great and worth it and i'm doing something.

in one month i will be heading for dalls to board a plan for san francisco. i ordered my dress for our formal dinner, theater thing. its called taetro zinzanni. i spelled the first word wrong but its so cool, its a 5 course dinner circus caberet thing that costs 160 a ticket and i didn't have to pay. i'm so ready for it.

we're getting my mom a digital camera for christmas, its about 40 bucks 50 with the sd card. we're also getting ben's mom a video camera that costs 100, 120 with two sd cards. shes going to be taking alot of trips she needs the space. i hope she likes it because i don't know if she knows exactly how excited we are about this trip.

now i'm going to go find the sleeping medicine i can't seem to find anywhere. and then i will call my love.

goodnight everyone

so one of the little journals spotlighted on the side of my lj start page was bedhead...something i can't remember. i realized, i always have bed head. it never seems to go away.

sarah cut my hair a few weeks ago and it looks awesome too bad i don't have time to dry it ever. i'm kind of excited about their baby. i don't know why i just hope hes cute. taylor belle is cute shes the cutest baby in the whole world.

finals are this week and i havn't studied yeat. art history is wednesday, tomorrow we go over the sample test, then thrusday is history. i think tomorrow i will take my history quizes and record the correct answers to make note cards then spend the rest of the night studying art history. tuesday will be mostly art history. wednesday i have duty so i can study a little then.

right now i'm ready for the new year more than ever before. this year i will be in san francisco at a 4 star hotel that costs 150 dollars a night. with the love of my life by my side.

right now i wish that was all i had to think about.

so in about 10 days it will be a year and i couldn't be happier. we celebrated by going to monsters inc on ice. it was a lot more fun than i thought it would be. now i'm watching glenn beck and waiting for the next movie to start.

basically this weekend was pretty awesome. i got a great new tshirt, and a cute little monster with a sock on his back(4319! 4319!).

so i'm saving up to buy a new laptop, mine is about to die. ben's parents just bought his new one and hes going to pay them back. i like watching the prices drop. at the beginning of the summer when we looked they were both going to be atleast 1600. his was just over 1600 1660 somehting i think. i just put all the stuff i want in mine plus a little bit of extra stuff since the prices dropped and i couldn't even break 1550. so yay go dropping prices. my new laptop is going to be green and match my cute green mouse. yay.

everything in my room right now is either green, purple, or that teal blue green color. not quite teal more blue green but yea that pretty color. i like it a lot.

i have a term paper due monday, in art history. i havn't started. i suck at life.

this weekend: Shreveport

we're staying on mark and sarah's floor instead of at our homes. then again i don't always consider my house home, and i really don't consider benjamin's house home even though i spent a large part of my summer asleep there.

i just finished cleaning my room. it looks great now. it was a huge mess because i havn't had time to clean it.

when i got my job, i was worried i wouldn't be able to keep up. most of the time its not that bad. only when there are a bunch of events and a test all in the same week.

kind of like this week.

i've been studying 2 hours a night for my art history test friday. i'm about to start working on quizes for am. history as well. tonight we had a program, baking cookies and watching click. i ate some cookies and dough then went upstairs to the movie for a little while before leaving to take ben and toraino cookies. ben was on rounds and i was going to just leave but toranio started talking so i decided to just hang out with him. hes cool. and super nice so it was fun just talking to him. turned out ben was writing someone up, he finally caught the guy tearing stuff off his bulliten board YAY!!!! i swear some people get to college and all of a sudden believe that just because they pay tuition and fees they have the right to destroy whatever they want. it gets annoying when your job is to make sure they don't.

so its pouring outside. and i'm soaked.

counseling class was practially cancelled(all we did was walk in and sign the roll). if only art history would be to. this week i'm studying at least 2 hours a day for my art history test friday, they aren't hard tests but not going to class makes it harder. i actually knew most of the stuff on the last test, when we did the recap and went over it after we took it i felt like an idiot for some of the mistakes i made. but oh well. i'll do better this time.

i printed out the change major form today. now i just have to take it to the head of each department and get signatures. i'm only behind a few classes so it shouldnt' be hard to catch up especially with summer classes. now i'm going to be an Art education major with a history minor. benjamin is changing his too. we're goobers like that.

sarah if you get a chance to check this i miss you on myspace. :( but i'll see yall friday when we come to town!!

alright update time.

right now i'm on duty, sitting on the couch in the lobby/office. everyone else is asleep. well everyone who usually comes out and talks to the RAs on duty.

i like my job. i like being able to help people out when they are lost, confused, or just get locked out of their rooms.

tomorrow i am going shopping. i don't care who drives but i am going shopping.

last weekend i got the cutest heels in the world.

so i can't sleep.

i jsut watched an episode of intervention.

the anorexic/bulimic girl went to rehab and her anorexic/bulimic friend also whet, the friend was married and the main girl had a boyfriend with huge scars on his face. after going to get help and dropping out and relapsing, she broke up with the boyfriend the friend got divorced and both checking in for help again. a year later they both had been living heathy for months. they were also married, and the main girl was pregnant.

it was a happy ending i guess.

so i jsut went thorough all 7 pages of super mario galaxy screenshots. i saw no luigi. there bettter be a luigi! or he better get his own game and though i had fun playing luigi's mansion i dont' want to play it agian.

i say a lot of things and then realize the next day that i didn't mean it or well that thought i thought it was true it isn't. kind of like yesterday. mostly its just thta stress builds up and then i have to let it out and get all those thoughts out of my head before they start to infect all the other good thoughts i have.

we finished our schedule last night. its just for the first month. but now that i look at it it really isn't that bad. i have duty every wednesday. 2 thursdays, 3 mondays, 2 sundays from 8-12. and only one friday/saturday weekend from 10-12. i think i might do my office hour (we have to have one office hour a day) before my classes. right now my earliest class is 11. so i could do my hour from 9 - 10 or i might do it right after and do it from 3-4. i'll have to talk to benjamin and see what he has put or is planning to put for his.

so benjamin please tell me what you are going to put for your office hours on trillian or something.

its 8am. i just got out of the shower. YAY i was feeling yucky. in 45 minutes i have to be downstairs to start checking people in. so now i must go so i can dry my hair.

ps. when i get my own house the first thing i will be getting is an english bulldog puppy. followed by an austrlian blue heeler puppy.

see:

http://www.puppygal.com/bullyimages/877.jpg

http://dogbreedinfo.com/images6/ACDpuppy_on_rug.jpg

i thought "oh ok lets just get through this first two weeks and then everything will be okay. but no i'm not going to have a day off for atleast the first month, then i will still have to work at least 2 nights a week on ehere and one in anohther building.. which by the way i hope someone will be willing to bring me back here because i am not walking back to mitchell from dudley or aswell after midnight. hell no. i'm going to have to work all the time. i'm never going to see ben becuase the times when i'm not working i'm going to have to be over here for something so i'll only see him when we're in class basiclly.

i feel horrible becuase i keep complaining to him and i know he doesn't want to here it, but i have no other friends here, none. i don't have anyone else i can just talk to and hes the one i want to talk to anyway. what can i say i love him(thats right i love you but you knew that :-P) and hes the one i want to talk to and i want to tell him whats going on with me and my day and stuff. hes sick of hearing it. but i can't seem to stop myself from saying it all.

apperantly i'm the only one whos getting so stressed. everyone else doesnt like that we have to work so much and that we will be working almost twice as many hours as we are supposed to be still getting paid for just the regular times.

i guess i'm just overreacting. maybe i'm not looking at things with the right mindset but right now i'm just scared i'm not going to be able to handle it. i want this job, i like a lot of this job but i dont know if i will be able to handle all of this ontop of school.

mark and sarah were oging to come see us this weekend but because of all of the stuff we have to do now they can't, well they can but we're going to be busy and they are going to end up just sittin gin our rooms bored.

i shouldn't be so frustrated or crying over all this nonsense. i shouldn't be worried about not getting to see ben becuase i know he loves me and i know he will talk to me and i know he will miss me too. i shouldn't be acting like this.

how can i know that but then i cant help myself from doing it anyway.

a few months ago benjamin bought me a new bible. i've been trying to remember to read the daily verses. when i do remember they seem to have been picked jsut for my current situation, as though they could see the future and knew where i was going to be at this exact momment.

todays was:

"I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but i focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and recieve the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT)

i dont' want to forget the past but i'm definitely focused on the future and i'm looking at it happier than i have ever been.

::edit::

i really like vox. it has reminded me why i liked journaling and blogging in the first place. it makes me think, inspires me, and gives me a release when i'm stressed. its also great to start a journal when i'm happy all the others started when i was depressed. this one is 4 years old. i still like it though. just maybe not as much as vox.

http://bouncyfrog.vox.com

i updated it with something completely different if your intrested.

i'm sleeping with the tv on tonight. its 11 and i have to be up at 7:10. i have never had my own room, its too quiet for me. it makes me think too much. i'm ready for classes and people and homework then i will be ok with this. but for now. the quiet leaves me nervous and anxious and missing benjamin.

i'm more ready for the future than the present.

i'm more ready for a home, a puppy, a family, and a job than i am for what is supposed to be this carefree go to class stay up late party lifestyle that i've never wanted.

when ever i push the letter y then hit the space bar my little flashing line that shows me where i'm typing skips back a few letters, or lines so i'll be in the middle of a sentence then all of a sudden my sentence finishes in the middle of my first paragraph.

its now time to find a channel that won't annoy the crap out of me while i sleep and then attempt to doze off. hopefully i won't wake up too much.

i wish i had a remote control.

::edit::

glenn beck. everyone should watch his show. hes funny. and wears nice ties.

::edit #2::

sleeping isn't working. as soon as i lay down and turn off all the lights i overreact to something i hear. i can't wait for there to be rooms full of people here. i can't take this strange silence and hearing things that aren't there for much longer. i wish we had remembered to bring the sleeping pills. they didn't work for him but i know they work for me. i'm just going to take some headache medicine (yes i have a headache) and hope that helps some with both problems.

i think the only time i update ben is asleep.

my room is freezing.
i like vox.

i'm getting nervous about being an RA. i'm excited to meet new people. i need to make new friends but the actuall job part is starting to worry me.

i don't have a ph meter. i'm pretty sure my ph was not where it needed to be. my poor froggy is dead. its going to be a while before i get any new pets but its going to be sad looking at the empty tank all the time.

something about tech internet kills my computer. we had to reformat last night.

like ben said. we have vox now. its cool i like it. i have invites so if you want one just ask.

yay we're in ruston. boo one of my boxes fell off the truck somewhere. in it was my hangers, dishes, silverware, a serge protector, the remote for my tv, a pair of my favorite boots, and all of my tshirt paint.

sorry sarah your shirts going to have to wait awhile.

last night we went and bought dishes and silverware, paper plates and towels and food. my clothes are staying in bags until i get hangers. both of our rooms are all fixed and organized too. i've started a list of things i still need. oh joy.

this box of cheez its however is making me very happy as i talk to you in the dark while watching everybody loves raymond and letting ben nap.

its going to be weird not having a roommate. i've never had my own room ever in my entire life.

classes start two weeks from tomorrow. yay!

HE LIVES!!!!!!

so my ph crashed in my fish tank. no one knows how or why this happens but its kinda common and it kills everything. the fish died first then the tadpole. i thought my frog was dead too. but HE LIVES! my tiny survived! after spending all night miserable and thinking he was dead coming home to see him swimming was a huge relief.